Joker X Reader: My Lost Star (Part 1)

            Thirteen years he has known you, watched you grow up with him and the other first-tier members of Noah’s Ark Circus. However, three years ago you suddenly disappeared from his sights without an explanation or a good-bye. He had gone to get you up for breakfast thinking you had overslept, inside your tent all your personal belongings were gone and the bed where you would have slept was cold. The first emotion to hit him was shock but not wanting to assume the horrible things that could have happened first he believed it to be an elaborate prank. Your things were probably just temporarily moved to Beast’s tent and you slept there for the night. After all, he previously made you angry, so, what better way to get back at him than to pretend you left. Denial set in as that day dragged by trying to tell himself that he was hopelessly oblivious to your presence even when the other members of the circus started to question about your whereabouts. He told them you were hiding. The more time that floated by the harder it was to explain away your absence. Joker flitted about the grounds in a daze sometimes thinking he heard your voice or saw you turning a corner. He wasn’t the only one who missed you but he missed you the most. It wasn’t until the loss of having you around that Joker noticed how incomplete everything seemed, more than anything the ache in his heart would never leave. You see, Joker loved you and still does, although he never got a chance to tell you that. A small flicker of hope burns that one day you will return.

~The day you disappeared~

            The morning started out as a normal one for you at the circus you ate your food and practiced a bit for the show later that evening. Your talent was something few could do. You maneuvered around like a gymnast held up in the air by nothing but two cloths of satin that stream from ceiling to floor. How you never slipped is a wonder to every audience member to see you in the act. During practice you just did a few small tricks while talking with Beast and Doll not at all noticing Dagger and Joker come in. The two males were feeling very energetic that morning and Dagger dared Joker to go mess with the slick cloth you’re hanging from. Seeing no harm in it since you’d most likely laugh it off he runs up yanks the soft material into a straight line causing you to lose the your grip. Gasping in fright you clutch at the satin to no avail as you keep falling but just when you thought you were going to hit the ground something caught you. Looking up you find your good friend/crush Joker,

“Haha sorry (Stage name) I didn’t mean for that to happen,” he sheepishly apologizes smiling down at you.

“Wha-…Joker I could have died!” you exclaim crossing your arms not finding the near death experience to be funny at all.

“It was an accident, I didn’t think you would fall,” Joker tries to reason with you still smiling.

“You did that on purpose?! I can’t believe it, get away from me!” you snarl angrily shoving him away and storming off.

Joker stared after you not knowing what to do; he honestly thought that with your level of skill you could have reattached yourself quickly. When he saw you couldn’t do it he nearly had a heart attack watching as gravity pulled you down. He scrambled to catch your form in what was probably the fastest motion he has ever made. The second he felt a weight in his arms he let out a breath of relief happy you were safe. The smile now gone from his face Joker feels a hand on his shoulder. Following the arm with his gaze he finds Dagger reluctantly smiling at him,

“Give her a few minutes, the adrenalin probably just went to her head,” the younger boy says sending his friend a wink.

“You’re right, I’ll get her some flowers and apologize again later,” Joker responds optimistically once again donning a smile pulling his friend into a hug.

Beast rolls her eyes at the scene interrupting it by saying, “Joker you should get your arm repaired before the show.”

Doll on the other hand walks out after you to make sure you were okay. Upon noticing Doll’s presence you huff and start ranting about how dangerous that was and that you might not want to perform tonight.

“If you’re scared you should you should go up otherwise you might never want to again,” the young girl says to you in a calm voice.

“I’ve never fallen before,” you confess shaken by the fear you haven’t faced frowning at the sensation.

 “Don’t let it get to you. Sometimes we fall but our friends are always there to catch us like Joker caught you,” she encourages quietly breaking character to smile at you.

“Joker caused me to fall in the first place!” you hissed back still mad at the redhead even if he did catch you.

“He didn’t know you would unravel so easily and he apologized,” Doll points out disliking the tension the incident brought with it.

“I don’t want to talk about this,” you sigh frustrated with yourself.

Your friend is quiet for a few minutes as the two of you make your way to the first tier tents,

“Thanks for talking to me Doll but I need to relax by myself, I’ll be in my tent if anyone needs me,” you inform her wearing a small smile.

She nods and lets you go by yourself turning away to go find someone else to spend her time with. In the tent you find a man who you know as your uncle wearing a fancy gray suit contrasted by the purple dress shirt and black tie frowning at you from his seat on a chair that had been in the corner of your small space. With him are two other men wearing the usual black suit over white dress shirts and black ties. Cautiously closing the flap so no one else can see you swallow in fear and apprehension, what does he want? Why is he here? How did he find you after all this time? The last time you saw him was when you were seven, the day he dropped you on the streets. He looks different now from back then, his face is no longer clean-shaven he has a goatee, instead of his hair being slightly messy it’s slicked back neatly until a top hat. Still those dark eyes had a dangerous glint to them which hardened at the sight of you.

“You’ve done poorly for yourself (Name); joining a circus? You were supposed to learn what it means to be independent but you go off and do this!” he exclaims fists clenching over his lap in aggravation.

“I survived uncle,” you curtly reply crossing your arms.

“I suppose you have,” he says tersely standing up walking closer to you, “Now that you’re old enough I’m bringing you back home to introduce you to the family business.”

“I’ve made a life here Victor; you aren’t taking me from it like you did last time,” you growl staring him in the eyes defiantly.

“Unless you want this precious circus of yours to be burnt to the ground and everyone shot I suggest you reconsider,” the man smiles motioning to the other two who hold up their guns, “I have men all around here.”

“You wouldn’t!” you gasp irises widening in terror at the thought of everyone you’ve come to care about lying in a pool of their own blood.

“Don’t test me girl, I have very little patience these days,” your uncle hisses menacingly face contorted with malicious intent.

“Let me do one last performance and I’ll come, just don’t hurt anyone,” you plead knowing by the look on his face that his threats are not half-hearted by any means.

“I’ll agree to that. Just to show what a loving uncle I am, I will watch your last circus performance,” he smirks pleased with his victory.

Storming out of your tent a livid expression is plastered on your face having to strike a deal with the man who left you for dead at such a young age only for him to come back for you now. What have you done to deserve such a cruel fate? Just then, Joker catches sight of you leaving your tent; putting on a big smile he approaches you with a bouquet of (fav. Flower) coming to a stop right in front of you,

“(Name)! These are for ‘ee I wanted to apologize again for earlier, do ‘ee forgive me?” the orange haired male questions truly seeming to regret his actions.

You hear the words but somehow they do not register in your mind giving him a blank stare before walking by as though he was never there to begin with. As this happens the smile on Joker’s face disappears from view, he can only guess that he has done more than upset you and considers the possibility that he brought up an old memory that you would rather forget. If only he knew how wrong he was, you wanted to tell him that he is forgiven but with the threat so blatantly stated by your uncle it is hard to think of things other than doing what he said. Trapped in your thoughts you simply continue like a zombie to the tent storing your anger away to avoid being asked unnecessary questions by other performers.